its about time YOU got DIESEL

are your jawns on?
are your socks dry?
have you the incredible need to get SO big you tear through the oldest shirts in your closet?
like you're about to go on a date when you realize
you turned your most swagged out button-up into shreds after lifting a heavy box?
    like papa says its time to pile into the car for church but
you're not finished sewing the slacks you absolutely confettied after bending
down to pick up your spilt groceries right there in the middle of the road last week?
if yes, you've made it to the right corner of the web.
   topanga breakfast bootcamp
       has now
           begun.

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choose from any of our lab-tested programs

1 week: only for the faint of heart. the class just takes turns on the shake weight for 15 then we eat creatine out of a bucket with a spoon (BYOS)

3 week: NOW it's dark. someone's been naughty and the only punishment fit is BURPEES. after three weeks of burpees and post-workout slurpees (contractually required) you're guaranteed to feel ripped (off).

8 week: you best be a committed, sharp-witted, fully cross-fitted, entirely with it heavy weight CHAMPION if you think you're cut out for THIS. we'll be driving out to the wilderness for a one-on-one mental and physical jungle gym. you will traverse mountains, perform chin ups on the branches of the tallest bonsais, eat nothing but cricket-based protein bars (no store-bought, YOU GOTTA MAKE EM!), and achieve anaerobic enlightenment in the process.